Nobody...

Nobody said living was easy

Nobody said life was great

Nobody told me I would feel queasy

And that my stomach would ache

Nobody told me life consisted of perfection

Or else I was a mistake

Nobody gave me the direction

To right from wrong

and wrong from right

Nobody said I won't be strong

And that I can't hold tight

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The Ides of March

So I haven't updated for...quite a while. That's mostly because of school and me being a big procrastinator. Anyway, it's finally March. When I think of March, I think of flowers blooming, sun shining, and the smell of fresh cut grass. In reality, it snowed this morning. So here I am trapped in my older sister's tiny cramped apartment babysitting my brother while my mother and my sister are at my uncle's house.
I guess lots has changed in the past few months. I got violin tutoring; which is good because I am never being able to play the songs we're given in my orchestra class, I met a tall skinny boy who plays the drums and is graduating this year (sigh unrequited lust), I bought a film camera from Goodwill for 88 cents, I passed my second trimester finals, and I got bangs.

Me!

Also, this summer, we're going to Algeria! I'm definitely excited, considering I'll be seeing my family whom I haven't seen since elementary school, and of course, because of how beautiful Algeria is:

All of those photos were taken by my sister, who was there during the winter of 2011.
Most people see these Arab countries as war torn, sexist, impoverished villages, when really, it's usually not. Take these photos for example... Algeria, and many other Arab countries I presume, are actually quite beautiful. I don't think people should judge these countries by what they see on the news.

Anyway, I plan on developing the photos I've taken on my film camera and posting them here soon. So I will be back, and this time, I won't go on unexpected hiatus!

tunes.

a collection of songs i've been listening to on repeat that past few days:

Maps-Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Feels Like We Only Go Backwards-Tame Impala

When Nalda Became Punk-When Nalda Became Punk

1979-Smashing Pumpkins

Whatever-Oasis

Casual Collaging

A few months back, I read this article about collaging. I decided to try it out, and little did I know then, collaging would be a long time hobby of mine! A few days ago, I scanned my favorite collages, and here I am to share them:

 

I collaged the cover of my journal

 ^These clippings were mostly found from my old Seventeen magazines from 7th grade.

I think this is my favorite collage. I found the photo in the middle from a Marie Claire magazine, and the hearts were cut out from an old dictionary.

 

The background was from a 1970's national geographic magazine that I got for like, 50 cents at a used bookstore. 

Seriously though.

 

Collaging is fun. What I love about it the most is you can have the artistic capabilities of a toddler and still create art.

Nov 5th, 2012

Well, these past few weeks have gone by in a flash. Finals are next week, (yay, party), I have German homework, and a project on Twilight that I'm supposed to be doing, BUT I DON'T WANT TO, UUGGGHHHH. So I am going to chill on the internetz like the loser I am and hang out on Tumblr (where the cool kids are) and listen to music. Sounds pretty sweet, eh?
Alright well a few weeks ago, my friend Gabby and I went out to Guthridge Park and took a bunch of photos with our cameras for photo club. I developed them forever ago and only recently found out how to scan things, so here I am now (to whoever is out there) and I have a few of them to show!

 

 

Favorite photo of me ever

 

 

 

 

VOTE GABBY O 2012 FOR FRESHMEN SECRETARY

Well, we sort of just ventured through the park trying to find cool spots to take photos, and afterwards we went home and ate food and talked until her mom came to pick her up. That was also the day I broke my guitar trying to show Gabby a song I could play. Good times...haha.

OKAY WELL BYE HAVE A NICE DAY OR SOMETHING.

RANDOM PHOTOS AND STUFF.

I haven't updated in forever. You can blame school for that. (well...kind of).
So it's been almost two months into the school year. It's not going too bad...although my expectations of it haven't been met. It's actually kinda boring. Plus there's too many people. It sort of overwhelms me. You know, after being in solitude for the whole summer, and then very harshly crammed into a building with 2,000 other students. I'm trying to get involved to make new friends and get to know people better. I'm in yoga club, photo club, and guitar club. I also plan on doing Journalism and Tennis later on.
I also expected to make new friends, that hasn't really happened at all. In fact, it seems with my other friends that went to Harding, our friendship has been strengthened. Which of course is awesome, but meeting new people would be nice too.
Here's a bung of random of photos of myself these past few months because I feel like I lack interesting photos on my blog. Of course these are just really boring photos of me, but I know you all want to know the girl behind the blog. ;)

I was at a girl from my mosque's house. I snuck into the bathroom and randomly took photos of myself.

That's Tavi and I at the Rookie meetup in Iowa City in July!

Homecoming game (first football game I've ever been to)

Another random photo of me.

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” ― Andy Warhol

Change.
Change is what's significant to my life right now. I'm entering high school, I'm putting on a new attitude and opinion on things.
And I'm thinking lots. Not just my normal teenage girl thoughts; Becoming a rock star, becoming famous, getting the ideal guy, etc. But more; infinity, philosophy, meta cognition, the minds of other people, our world...everything really.
I try to grasp the concept of infinity, but when I do, it slips out of my reach. It's like, everything will keep going, no matter what. There'll be no end. Even when eventually, our world will crumble to bits, and what's left of our universe, is only the ashes and the promises of love forever that proved we were once there. And still, it will keep going. I don't know what it is. But all I know is it will go on forever and ever.

The minds of other people too. When people say "everyone's different" to be comforted, I feel quite the opposite: uncomfortable. Does no one have the same thoughts as me? Am I the only one, and no one can relate? When I share my thoughts with others, are they unable to understand, because the concept of their minds aren't able to understand it as I do?  This thought sends me in a jumble of confusion.

Life is weird. Human consciousness is weird.